“IT’s NOT YOU, IT’s ME - and HER”

When breaking up with you, most guys will come up with the most gut-wrenching, heart-twisting excuses about the need to find themselves rather than admit they’ve found someone else.

There’s a thin line between actually lying, conspiring or deceiving, versus a simple omission. And there’s an even thinner line between giving out reasons and making excuses, although sometimes, they sound quite the same. Why can’t guys admit they’ve called it quits with you because there’s someone else? Why do we say something and mean another? Why can’t we just blurt it out? Well this time we have to apologize in advance because the reasons that I’ll be stating here will definitely sound like excuses to you (just like every other thing we say). Or will it??

CONFLICT AVOIDANCE (iwas world war III)

Sounds like something you heard in psych class? Well, it is. At this point, were demonstrating our diplomatic side. It’s simple really. We don’t want to hurt you any more than we already have. What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? So why bother knowing? Plus, We don’t want to sound like we’re ‘feeling’. Do you really want us to text or call you and say “hey! whats up? Guess what, I like someone else!” Your initial reaction would probably be to shout, scream or hurl the nearest solid object.

DEFENSE MECHANISM (depensang marino)

Just like any other living being in this planet, we derive from and act according to our most primary instinct-self defense. A relationship that’s about to break off is like spotting a raging bull across the street and you’re in red from head to foot- at that point, it’s every man for himself. We’re afraid that you’ll hurt us back if we hurt you. We’re more fragile than you think, so instead of telling the truth, we try to go around it first, postponing the inevitable, until that final moment when the shit hits the fan.

IT’s not You IT’s Me (ako, ako lagi na lang ako.. hindi ikaw??)

Soul searching, journey to one’s self, call it whatever you want. This basically means that we’re tired. We want something else. We’re exasperated and we’re yearning for something new. Something different, something we haven’t had before. Or maybe you were just too makulit. And mind you, guys aren’t the only ones who do this. Women too. I know it sounds lame, but this is how we lay it smoothly.

MAINTAIN BALANCE (tamang timbang)

We don’t want enemies. We’re not into that walang pansinan cold war thing. So by breaking it to you gently we’re hoping that we can maintain our friendship, just like mature people. We do this especially when some of our friends and yours have hooked up too. Isn’t that better that having a huge fight and leaving each other bad memories? But, truthfully, we just don’t want you to hate us and dish the dirt on what we’re really like.

FREEDOM (kalayaan!!!)

Black, white or gray lies-it all boils down to this: The ability to choose, to desire, to get and to make do with or make do without. And you want this too. And you will also go to the same extremes that guys go in order to fill this need. This is something that we can’t argue with.

So what do you think? Reason of Excuses? Admittedly, all beings regardless of who they are and what they’ve done, deserve the truth. And guys shouldn’t be beating around the bush about why they’re breaking up with a girl. But maybe we concoct excuses because our reasons don’t sound valid even to ourselves. “There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart”